love

happiness is convincing yourself that you are the best thing that ever happened to you.

lessons unlearnt

From whom did I learn it
the constant second guessing?
the shrouding and finessing?
the weaving of untruths so I believe them myself?
the hiding under layers that no one can see past?
from whom did I learn to expect loneliness?
from whom did I learn to accept unhappiness?
from whom did I learn to flatter and praise?
from whom did I learn to evade and pretend?
from whom did I learn to curb my temper?
from whom did I learn to adjust?
from whom did I learn to smile and bear it?
from whom did I learn to tolerate?

From whom did I learn to lie
to myself

Tell me
so I can tell them
this is what helped me make me.
How strange it is that I do not know
whether to thank you or blame you

out stretch

Sometimes the words aren't enough,
and that's when I look to see
what it is that I have to offer
when I am so far away
from the ones who need me
but all I have are images
that I weave for you
inexpertly

Imagine, I told him
Imagine I'm there
Imagine I'm there right now, like a great big lump of cat, with my head in your lap, so you can rub my head and hear me purr.

And I've offered already
But there is no reason I can see
why I can't play cat for all those who need the therapy.

not quite haiku

hug is panacea for all troubles

waiting games

all i've ever wanted is to be wanted
somebody's special somebody
so much that i let myself believe every time
let go the reins and watch
as my imagination runs away from me
write it sing it drink it dream it
till i hit that familiar wall
where reality rears up and breaks all illusions
so i retreat once more, beaten
slip under my cloak of patience
back to weaving
waiting again

almost have i come to terms with loneliness

hush

the silence is a friend that comes
whether I want it or no
slips gently about me
a blanket insulates me
trips open a door in the recesses of my mind
lets the thoughts bleed out unattended
drip unheeded
puddle unaffected
and the silence is a friend of mine
one i cannot live without
do you wonder at it?

sympathetic

Look
what you hold in your hands is my heart
It isn't whole, nor yet untouched
but it is as it is
and no amount of breaking
will make the next time any easier
Treat it with care;
it is all I have to give
Virgin hopes and fears and dreams
Still blessed with starry optimism
oh, take care, take care
I have but the one
and I need it
to love you