non-confidence

Did you miss me? And would you tell?
And if told you didn’t know me well
Would you contradict, demur?
And convince me, certain – sure
That all the time together we spend
Has made me now your new best friend?

Or then again, are you aware
Of just how much I really care?
And is all this flattering attention
Just some thoughtful condescension?
Designed to keep this annoying slave
Off your back, get her to behave
With something approaching decorum
By behaving like she’s just a chum?

Oh, don’t you know it’s the greatest mistake to
Talk to me just as you would talk to
Any of your masculine friends?
It misses the point that it intends

By making me feel like I’m someone
With whom you could have a little fun
You make me think of just exactly how
much your company means to me now

When I’m with you I can be truly
Me, and I don’t worry unduly,
I don’t panic, don’t lose my head
Over something someone did or said

When I’m with you, there’s only you
And me, in all the world just two
The two of us, then all the rest
Hmmm. I fear that I’m obsessed

I know I cannot help the way
I feel about you; and if I say
You make my day, my month, my year
I know you’ll leave me standing here
Choking in a cloud of dust
As you run away, oh unjust!
Is it that wrong to show affection
My appreciation of this connection
The kindred spirits we seem to be?
Is it that wrong? Go on, tell me

You are my easiest conversation
Antidote to my isolation
You mess up my mind, my marvelous muse
I’d thought we had something we'd never lose
That would always remind us of things we'd shared.
That all the things you told me meant you cared

But you didn’t even care enough to say
“I’m falling in love with your best friend.”
If you had, I would have said “Hooray!”
And meant it, and not had to pretend

But the things you could’ve said to stop the pain
I had to say instead because you didn't
Pick up the pieces and fix myself again
Because this time you couldn't, or wouldn't
And all these things I told myself
Locked my pain away up on a shelf

But then, oh then, I think again
And would I really have preferred
Some comforting lie, excuse inane
Than wait from explanations never heard?

If you’d told me I was your darling girl
And that so I would always remain
Would I have avoided all that hurt?
Could I have eased any of my pain?

One last thing, and then I’ll go
One final thing that needed to be said
I love you; and if you didn’t know
You must have been blind, and deaf, and dead.