Monday, October 2, 2006

if it makes you feel better

Tell yourself whatever you need to that will drive away your pain. Trivialise every emotion, belittle every involvement, second guess every action. Invent for yourself all the little lies you can; call the grapes sour; predict disaster. Use past tense verbs and words like useless, never, anyway. Foresee failure, turn the future inside out; see in it all the misery you would care to. Make the past a rosy, perfect memory; put it on a shelf before it’s opened; before the splinter shatter smash. Anticipate, precipitate, weave worst-case scenarios. See the worst in the might-have-been; and see the escape in your heartbreak.
Is the day prettier now?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

you forgot to say erase that you know what you just did.

Anonymous said...

oh, no. if you do, then you forget. forgetting is not an option.

Anonymous said...

Read Kafka.

Anonymous said...

I can only wish I could do these things to make myself feel better.

Anonymous said...

If it makes you feel better, remember every moment that brought a sparkle to your eyes. Sob over it. Just more tears, right?

Refuse to look at the past. It's over, right?

Pretend that you aren't what you made of yourself, and that what you've been through didn't matter in the least. It didn't, did it?

Carpe Diem. True. Screw the rest, correct?

Why on earth am I feeling like that tuning form from the physics lab in school that hit a pitch on the wire and vibrated on the same frequency? People can't be very similar, right? I'm unique, right? Nobody is perfet, right, and I'm nobody right? And it isn't insecurity to say all that, right?